Hello! My name is Bryan Anderson and today, I will be your substitute.
Okay, so this isn’t a school classroom, but do you remember that feeling? The feeling you got when someone unexpected walked to the front of the room and you slowly began to wonder…could it be? …is she absent today? The students all turned about and sat up straight, and you could just sense the collective thoughts in the room as they all suddenly focused to a point. “Is it really happening, now? …today?” And then those words…the ones the whole class was leaning forward, just waiting to hear… “Hello! Today, I will be your substitute.”
Well it’s clear I’m not Glen, but this evening, I will be using the story Glen preached on Sunday from the book of Ruth, as I reflect on what Mother’s Day has come to mean to me. The title of my blog is “We Have a Substitute.”
Bryan (center) with his family, including three of his favorite moms!
I am blessed, church. I mean, of course I am blessed for many reasons, but this week I am blessed for two specific reasons. You see, this Sunday was Mother’s Day and I am blessed because, one, I have an amazing relationship with my mom, and two, because she is still alive and well. And if you are blessed like me, that’s wonderful. But on Mother’s Day, it is easy for us to forget that not everyone…not even close to everyone …even in this very room can say that they have now or have had a good relationship with their mother, or that their mother is still with us. Mother’s Day can come with some very mixed feelings for many, and for myriad reasons. It is my sincere hope to both consider and honor some of those feelings tonight without offense.
I want to start by telling you about this ring that I wear. I’ve been asked about it so many times I lost count long ago. Here’s the story: When the youngest of my 3 sisters was born, my dad bought my mom a pendant that had all 4 of our birthstones in it. My mom wore that pendant every single day throughout my childhood. She loved it! The stones were not real, they were synthetic, but she loved it! When my oldest sister turned 16, my dad swiped the pendant from my mom and had the synthetic Ruby (my oldest sister’s birthstone) taken out and genuine ruby put in as a replacement, and dad gave the synthetic stone that mom had worn around her neck for so many years to my sister in a ring to wear. Then, when each of the others of us turned 16, the stones were replaced in like manner, so that now, mom had a pendant with all genuine stones, and we each have a ring with the stone our mom wore around her neck for so many years. I treasure this ring and I treasure my mom.
So let me tell you a little bit about my mother. She was raised by a Baptist preacher/Religion professor and a Baptist Sunday School Board employee/church organist. She has been a nurse for over 40 years taking care of new babies and especially their mothers. She just has that caretaker gene in her. Many would think her an enneagram 2 …if you’re into that kind of thing. She is soft spoken and her kindness knows no end. She doesn’t ask, she just gives. Look up Shel Silverstein’s book, “The Giving Tree”…that’s her. She taught me to be patient, generous, and forgiving. She tried to teach me to talk less and listen more…still working on that one Mom. And she taught me by her example what it means to love and truly care for someone else more than for yourself. I can’t help but think that Naomi must have had a similar influence on her daughters in law, Ruth and Orpah.
You see Naomi had lost her husband and her two sons, but Ruth and Orpah (her remaining daughters in law who were no longer bound by marriage to Naomi) were given the freedom to leave and seek wealth and a future elsewhere. Naomi had no promise of any future for either of them, so, she asked them to leave her for their own sakes, and most likely to her own detriment. Sounds like the kind of selfless thing some mothers would do. But then verse 9 tells us that when Naomi suggested they leave her that both Ruth and Orpah wept. We see here that Ruth and Orpah both cared so deeply for Naomi that they would say to Naomi in verse 10 “We will go back with you to your people.” When you love someone, you often want to stay with them. You often consider their wellbeing ahead of your own. This definitely fits with my experience with my mother. Her selfless, sacrificial lifestyle fostered the same behaviors and tendencies in us (her children.)
But then, we see a difference between Ruth and Orpah. Naomi suggested again that they leave her, and this time, Orpah chose to do so, she chose to leave Naomi. Did this mean that she didn’t actually care for Naomi, or that she cared less for Naomi than Ruth did? I don’t think so. Verse 14 tells us that Orpah wept AGAIN even as she chose to kiss Naomi goodbye and leave. Losing someone who has cared for you is hard. I mean look, I’m sure that if Naomi had been forcefully taken away from Orpah, Orpah and Naomi would have both experienced loss, but what we see here is that even when the separation is voluntary…and even if the separation is determined to be for the best…there is still loss.
“Losing someone who has cared for you is hard. I mean look, I’m sure that if Naomi had been forcefully taken away from Orpah, Orpah and Naomi would have both experienced loss, but what we see here is that even when the separation is voluntary…and even if the separation is determined to be for the best…there is still loss. ”
I want to tell you another story. It was two years ago, to the day today. It was May 12, but it was Mother’s Day and I, like many of you was in the Sanctuary that morning. We had a joyful morning of worship! We sang great Eastertide songs like “Because He Lives”, we dedicated 5 babies, the choir loft was full of a men’s chorus made of choir members and congregation members who stood together as they sang “All hail the power of Jesus Name, and cro-----wn Him.” I LOVE that song! We even got to sing one of my favorites “In Christ Alone” a hymn I was introduced to in a contemporary ensemble I sang in in college called Redemption.
It was a wonderful Mother’s Day morning. But I remember the feeling like it was yesterday as I stood right there facing all of you, leading the final Hymn of Response and my phone started to vibrate in my pocket. Maybe it was because no one ever calls me during the service, it felt so out of place, but I remember the feeling I got was that someone was waiting until I got out of church to call me. It felt urgent…it felt important…it felt ominous. Just moments later as the service ended, I pulled my phone out to see that it was a college roommate of mine and I walked out the front doors and stood at the top of the stone steps on Main Street as I called him back. It began to rain but I just stood there as he told me that our college voice teacher, Angela Holder had a massive stroke that morning and she didn’t make it. Time froze. I was devastated.
Angela was not just my college voice professor. She was a mother to me when mine wasn’t there…you might even call her a substitute mother. Her first year teaching at Carson-Newman was my first year attending as a student. We joked that we were Freshmen together. We had a wonderful friendship for 4 years even as I was a student, but she insisted on me calling her Angela after I graduated. She helped me through so much…in school and even after college. Lauren and the kids and I would stay at her house every year for homecoming weekend. It was like going home to see family. She was the leader of “Redemption” that contemporary group I had sung in, and had been the person to teach me that hymn, “In Christ Alone” …the one that I (THAT WE) had sung that very morning.
Redemption vocal group at Carson Newman. Angela is in the front row on the far left.
She was, hands down, the happiest person you could ever meet. She would listen to your every worry, fear, or problem and still always have a positive outlook to offer. I can hear her voice now as I would walk into her studio and she would say that phrase that was her own… “Hi, well is happiness abounding in your life today?” Is happiness abounding? That’s why wore the T-shirt I wore on Sunday. You see, Angela never had kids…I often wondered if she and her husband could or not because I always thought she would make such a fantastic mom. But it turns out she did make a fantastic mom. To me, and to the hundreds and hundreds of other students who have all donned those shirts that were made for her funeral. She may have never truly known the impact she made on so many of us. It reminds me of how Ruth never knew the impact of her role as she chose to stay with Naomi in a seemingly futureless situation. But as Glen pointed out on Sunday, we see at the end of the book of Ruth, how Ruth’s and Naomi’s problems turned into a promise as verse 21 and 22 tell us that after Ruth married Boaz, “Boaz was the father of Obed who was the father of Jesse who was the father of David” Yes, THE David from whose lineage came Jesus. This lineage is not in scripture by accident. It is proof that Ruth’s impact was huge. Angela’s impact was huge! She wasn’t my mother, but her substitute role was unfathomably important anyway.
So let’s not forget: losing a mother is hard. Mother’s Day is hard when you’ve lost a mother. Yes, when you’ve lost a mother to death, but as Orpah teaches us, it’s hard even if you’ve lost a mother by circumstances or choices made, no matter the reason or who made them.
Angela was the best possible substitute mom that any of us who had her could have asked for. And I’ve had other substitute moms over the years. My best friends’ mom growing up was always like a mother to me. She had a nickname for me that to this day no one else on the planet has ever called me. I also now have a wonderful mother-in-law who encourages me and helps me probably more than she knows. But like I said, I’m lucky that I have my mother, because she’s the real deal, the genuine one…right?
Well, for me, yes that’s true. But maybe not for everyone. It is again my sincere hope that everyone could experience having the best possible mother for them: biological, adopted, lost, substitute, whatever. Because a substitute doesn’t have to imply “lesser.”
“It is again my sincere hope that everyone could experience having the best possible mother for them: biological, adopted, lost, substitute, whatever. Because a substitute doesn’t have to imply “lesser.””
Take my ring again. I’m sure you’re thinking to yourself…”yeah, yeah, he’s going to say that the stone in his ring is synthetic but it’s not ‘lesser’ because of what it means to him.” That may be true, but it is not the whole story. Years ago (when my fingers were even skinnier) my ring used to slip off especially in colder months. Well, after so many drops, one morning I went to put it on and noticed that the stone was gone. I searched my bedroom floor. I searched my whole house…practically combed the carpet looking for this tiny little stone that meant soooo much to me…it was THE stone my mother wore around her neck for years…it was irreplaceable! But I never found it. This stone is a substitute for the synthetic one. But do you know what? I decided years ago that I was not going to alter the way I told the story behind this ring. I decided years ago that even though I lost one, and got a substitute, that I was going to treat it like it was the real deal. To this day, I still tell people the story of my ring and I always say that this is the stone that my mother wore around her neck for years, because to me, it is. This substitute is not in any way lesser.
Reminds me of another substitute. One that if you’ve never experienced having any kind of mother, that this is the closest thing you’ve got. You see, we all have a substitute. We have a substitute who takes our shortcomings and turns them into strengths. We have a substitute who speaks on our behalf. We have a substitute who removes our pain and restores our souls. We have a substitute who intercedes for us at the judgement seat. We have a substitute who takes on our sins and takes up our place on a cross! We have a substitute who endured pain and suffering and death that was reserved for us and still overcame! We have a substitute who unexpectedly walks up to the front of the room full of sinners and says those words…the ones that all of us are leaning forward, just waiting to hear… “Hello! My name is Jesus Christ, and today I will be your substitute!”
Amen!